By CJ Kallevig

There are many types of goodbyes in our lives. There are those of people that move away, friends that drift, betrayals, deaths, and then there are those goodbyes that happen without us even noticing. And they all can be awful.

You will deal with at least one, if not all, of these goodbyes in your lifetime. And how you deal with these goodbyes is very important.

There are a couple different ways in which goodbyes may be said: with tears, with anger, coldly, or calmly. Even when goodbyes are said with calmness and acceptance, that often comes after the tears/anger. I’m going to talk about tears first because that is how I normally deal with goodbyes. I cry a lot with goodbyes, and it’s the ugly crying, too. If this is how you say goodbye, I completely understand. Tears are an emotional release and are often needed. However, if you cry too much, you will get sick, and that is not good. 

Anger is another way to say goodbye. This is often seen more in betrayals or in saying goodbye to someone who died. It’s ok to be upset, but again, don’t let that anger consume you. If anger takes you over, it can hurt your relationship with the people around you and your relationship with your heavenly Father. 

Eventually the time will come when you will have to dry your eyes, swallow your anger, and ask, “What now?”

This is where prayer comes in. Talk to your heavenly Father about what is going on. He wants to hold you close and to comfort you as you deal with your hurt. Talk to Mama Mary. She will hold you in her arms as you pour out your heart. 

After prayer, after mourning your loss, you need to look forward to what lies ahead. Can you still feel sad? Can you still feel angry? Absolutely. But you can’t let that sadness/anger take over your life. Look forward to the amazing future God has in store for you.

To those of you who are dealing with the loss of a loved one, I am so sorry for your loss. Cling to the hope that you will see your loved ones again someday in heaven with our Lord, and never stop praying for them. 

To those who have lost a friend to distance, in an argument, or even just by drifting apart, there’s not much that I can say to be a comfort. I know how difficult those goodbyes can be, and all I can say is to let yourself feel. Don’t hide what is going on on the inside, it will fester and make you feel even worse. Offer everything in your heart – the good, the bad, and the ugly – to the Lord, and let him work there.

God bless you all, and I will see you in the Eucharist.

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